I don’t talk about it much. It’s not because I’m ashamed of the title, it’s not so much even an embarrassment of the title so much as it is being ashamed and embarrassed of my lack of knowledge, my lack of goodness.
I try to live it out daily but if someone confronts me with a really good point I’m afraid I won’t have the right answer, that I’ll state something wrong, that I’ll slip up and make us all look bad or that worse, I’ll insult my Heavenly Father with my imperfections. So I remain silent. Afraid.
I fear speaking up because I might look like I have it together, when in reality my past declares to me daily that my weaknesses are strong. I pray. Perhaps not as great as another. I doubt. Perhaps more than I should. I read. Perhaps I don’t understand properly.
So I remain silent yet some more.
And yet, for the first time it’s clear to me. All the thoughts in my head declaring to me all the ways I could mess up are not thoughts of love, mercy, forgiveness and grace. The thoughts raining in on my emotions, causing me to feel as if I’m drowning in my own sin are the very thoughts that seal my lips causing me not to declare the glory that I know to be true.
Why would my Heavenly Father not want to speak through me if He has designed me to glorify and praise Him?
Why would He remind me daily of mistakes I have made if He has to said to me that my mistakes are forgiven? At a cost so very great.
I may not have all the answers, but I’m not designed to and that’s wonderful because I don’t want to know it all, I just want to know the one who does.
I make many mistakes, every day and there is nothing about me that is perfect except that in the midst of all the mistakes I make that someone would still manage to love me daily with His perfect love.
My God is so great, so much greater than my words are programmed to praise. His Word is true and science proves it with every new discovery. You and I are designed by Him for Him and everything we seek is proving that to be true, we desire to do good and not evil and that’s the very thing we were made to do and yet despite the desire for goodness we fall sort and fail. God knows that too, so even in our imperfections He makes goodness known by sending us His Son as a reminder that when we fail, as we do, that He loves us more than we can ever understand.
We don’t need fancy words to praise. We don’t need to be a preacher to declare. The Bible even states we don’t need a tune to sing, we just need to do what the Lord leads us to do. So, if at church you don’t raise your hands, that’s okay – bend down on a different level and guide a child. Hold a baby and pray grace over their lives. Witness to a friend, minister to the hurt, greet someone with a smile.
However you choose to live your life for Christ, do it with boldness because God did not cause us to fear and if it’s fear keeping you from doing God’s will be confident enough to know that is not of Him.
Lauren is the author of the easy to read devotional Beauty & The Broken.