Going Above and Beyond For Your Spouse
He walked into the living room holding a cup of iced tea in his hand. It was a southern drink down to the roots, nice and sweet, served in an over sized mason jar. With a straw, for us fancy southerners.
“Here baby, this is for you.” He said to me. “Anything else you would like?”
I shook my head no and said “Thank you” with a smile. It was getting late outside and the kids had already gone to bed for the night. I was sitting on our grey suede couch curled under a tan queen size fleece blanket, after all fleece is my favorite. I was already in the nightie that he had recently bought for me from an over priced store in the mall. As I took a sip of the drink he stood there, waiting for me. When the sip had finished he took the mason jar from my hand and placed it down on the coffee table for me. I went back to reading The Oath by Frank Peretti.
Moments later he came back into the living room and asked if I found the item I was looking for earlier in the day. I had not. So he left. I continued the dragon adventure within the pages of the book at hand. Fire had just engulfed the hunter and I wanted to know whether or not he would escape the cave alive.
My husband returned. He had found the item.
At this point I was thinking wonderful thoughts about my husband and thought surely now he will sit and join me on the couch. He is not much for reading, unless it’s a very technical and analytical type of book. Fairy tales, mystery, horror and all things sci fi are not his type of pastime. However, he did not join me on the couch, instead he went directly to the kitchen. There is a wall standing in the way of the kitchen and the living room so once he was inside the kitchen I could not see what he was doing. I could hear him though. Dishes. The man was doing the dishes.
Just yesterday he had done two loads of laundry and the day before that he vacuumed the rug under the dining room table.
I understand that some of you are thinking thoughts like “wow, I wish I could get my husband to do all that, I can barely get him to (fill in the blank here)” but the fact of the matter is, my husband has always been like this. Sometimes I take it for granted. Other times, I feel really guilty about it. I’m not the type of person who is always going above and beyond for their spouse. Am I alone in that, do you always go above and beyond for your spouse? Probably not. Maybe? My husband is always treating me like a queen. And the thing is, I want to go above and beyond for him. I want to meet him with surprise because something has already been done that he didn’t have to do. Yet, I don’t remember. Seriously, I would forget my head if it wasn’t screwed on tight.
Going Above and Beyond For A Spouse Who Doesn’t Do The Same For You
Here’s the beauty in this. My husband has been going above and beyond for me. A woman who doesn’t go above and beyond for him. Now, I really want to. I want to put forth effort and return the favor. But maybe, you are on the other end of it. Maybe you feel like you are doing everything all by yourself. Please don’t give up. My husband has been putting his needs after my desires for our entire marriage. With very little return on his investment from me. That doesn’t mean I don’t notice. That doesn’t mean I don’t love him. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to treat him wonderfully, to relieve some of the pressure of life. It just means that I’m not very good at it. I want to help him out. I want to do something magical for him. I’m not very good at those moments. It’s like my brain is a jumped pile of mess sometimes. So, please. If you are the one always going above and beyond for your spouse, please be patient. I’m sure they notice, I’m sure that they just don’t really know how to return the favor.
Asking For Help
If you are like my husband, always going above and beyond for your spouse, but would like some help. Ask for it. I love it when my husband gives me a specific way for me to help him. It makes me happy to know that if I can do this one task or these two tasks that he will notice and be happy. So, if you need help. Or, if you think your spouse would like to help you. Ask for it. Don’t tell. Don’t become an emotional ball of tears either. Just say “babes, would you mind doing (fill in the blank) for me? It would really help me out” Ding! – Lightbulb goes off in the mind of your spouse. They can do that.
Monday Marriage Challenge
Find a way to go above and beyond for your spouse.
Join us every Monday for another Monday Marriage Challenge. Check some more out now!
Ways To Go Above and Beyond For Your Spouse
- Have a nice cold drink waiting for him when he gets home from work.
- Have tomorrow’s work clothes clean and ready.
- Have his favorite dinner with all the fixings on the table.
- Invite one of his friends over for dinner.
- Cut the grass for him.
- Take out the trash for him.
- Watch one of his movies after dinner tonight. (Bonus* Have it ready to go in the BluRay or DVD player.)
- Get dolled up and happy about well….you know. (Bonus* Actually have fun with it!)
- Buy him something new that he needs. (Under shirts, socks, shoes, pants, etc.)
- Buy him something because it reminded you of him. (His favorite candy bar, a movie in the cheap bin at Walmart, a funny graphic T)